


When Aliens Fly Into Your Butt

by pretty0dd_semisweet



Category: Blink-182
Genre: Birthday Presents, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-29
Updated: 2013-06-29
Packaged: 2017-12-16 14:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/862952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretty0dd_semisweet/pseuds/pretty0dd_semisweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom get's an unexpected birthday present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Aliens Fly Into Your Butt

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a fun one-shot I've written and I hope it makes you smile

When I unwrapped the present I didn’t expect _that._

_~ Flashback~_

_“Happy Birthday you asshole!”_

_Mark placed himself on the couch and stared at me._

_“What the fuck Mark, I’m younger than you?” Sometimes I didn’t get his logic._

_“Yeah, maybe, but I’m way sexier than you.” He lifted himself up off the couch and took a look around as if he was searching for something. They tour bus looked totally messed up but I don’t care. Somehow that chaos makes me feel comfortable. Mark didn’t seem to care either since he had never complained._

_Anyways, Mark continued to search for something in the mess of a tour bus and I got kind of curious. “What are you searching for, Marky?” But that fucker didn’t even bother to answer me._

_Thank god, a few seconds later he triumphantly turned around, a totally untidily attempt of a wrapped present in his hands and I finally knew what he was searching for. My birthday present._

_“You didn’t even try to make it look at least half-decent, did you?” I couldn’t hold back a little laughter. That present in Marks hands looked more like he shat it out or something._

_“I suck at wrapping up presents and you fucking know that. But just look at the wrapping paper, there are unicorns on it Tom, fucking unicorns.” Mark beamed at me. I’d prefer alien wrapping paper, but fuck yeah, unicorns are rad too…_

_“Uh, so maybe give it to me then?” I love presents. Usually I can’t wait to unwrap them once I get them but yeah, Mark destroyed that plan._

_“First, we have some fucking cake to eat, okay? Let’s go, the others wait.” He had already turned around and was about to leave the tour bus so I followed him._

_“I just hope that you didn’t bake it because I wanted to survive my birthday without getting a food poisoning.”_

_“Shut up, at least I don’t mistake salt for sugar.” I grinned while remembering the one time I baked that cake for Marks birthday and accidently put salt in it. Haha, his face was priceless when he tasted_

_it…I carefully placed the present on the table and followed him outside._

_Wow that cake was rad. It was green inside and little aliens made of sugar where on top. Mark bought it, of course he wouldn’t be able to make such an awesome cake._

_Anyways, back to the main topic. My presentI take a short look at the present until I can’t control myself anymore and yank the wrapping paper in two._

 

That little fucker. That little motherfucking fucker.

He didn’t buy me that. He didn’t do that.

I slowly sit down on the couch and stare at the DVD Cover. ‘ _When Aliens fly into your butt._ ’ is written above two naked men making out with a fucking Alien.

Mark fucking Hoppus bought me a gay porn DVD. With an alien as an actor.

It’s kind of funny, I mean that’s our sense of humor, I should have expected something in that direction… I turn around the DVD to read the description.

 _A spacey erotic adventure for a lonely night looking up to the stars. That DVD features a totally new dimension of movies in that genre, mixed with science fiction and pure desire. Everything from black holes_ (I had to chuckle while reading that) _and sexy space costumes is guaranteed._

Wow. Mark, you outdid yourself. Congratulations, that’s totally gross.

Too bad that I’m not going to watch it. Yeah, what a waste of money… It’s a real bummer. But yeah, I’m so not going to watch it because I don’t care, oh no. And I’m not gay.

 But, it’s a pity… I bet Mark had to take some shit for buying that haha, he deserves it anyways. Well, why not try it, I mean I’m not like gay or something, it’s just that alien thing… Yeah, that’s it, I’ll watch it because of the Aliens… Just because of the Aliens. Did I already tell you I’m obsessed with aliens? I mean like there sure is other life in the universe, it’s to big for us anyways. Well, back to what’s happening, I easily get distracted once the topic is something with aliens…

I jump up and take the DVD out of its cover and put it into the DVD player. Maybe it’d be better to pull the shades shut. Not that anybody thinks I’m going to jerk of to that DVD. That’s ludicrous.

So that’s when the menu pops up on the screen. There are even outtakes, I mean like, what the fuck? Porn outtakes?

Fuck, where is the remote control? I should probably clean up the bus a little bit. Maybe later…

Well, anyways I press the play button and place myself on the couch.

The film starts and the scene is a space ship. There are two men fettered and that alien is observing them. That alien thing looks kind of cool, something like the Asgards from Stargate, you know… But then shit get’s serious. They are like completely ‘in action’. I mean like, that’s actually kind of gross, I don’t even know, but somehow it turns me on.

What the fucking fuck Tom? It’s not like I wanted that, but now I unfortunately have a boner.

Somehow I end up jerking off to a gay porn alien movie I got from Mark as my birthday present. Great.

 

When the movie is over I quickly take the DVD out of the player, put it back into the cover and hide it somewhere in my bunk. Not that Travis finds it, that’d be awkward. That fucker Mark.

I need some distraction now. I should probably go outside and take a look at the stage for tonight.

Yeah, I’m going to play a show tonight with blink even if it’s my birthday. Playing shows is just to much fun, that’s probably the best thing you could do on your birthday, seriously.

Unfortunately Mark crosses my path. Even when he is still like 10 meters away I can see that dumb grin on his face.

“So, did you like my little birthday present, Tommy?” He knows I can’t leave a present unwrapped.

“So you think you’re fucking hilarious, right, Hoppus?”

“Of course, Tommy… But tell me, did it turn you on?” He laughs a little but the fact that I blush like girl made it easy for him. Good job, Tom. Now your best friend knows you watched a gay porn movie with aliens.

“You seriously watched it? Like, for real?” I don’t bother answering him, he wouldn’t believe me if I denied it anyways now. He looked kinda surprised, at least he didn’t think I’d watch it.

“So, what was the story about?” I could hit him right in the face for that devilish grin but then I have a better idea.

“Oh ,Marky. It was really clever. I mean when that alien thing took him from behind and sucked him off and when it came, do you know what, Mark, it’s sperm was pink, just like your favourite color-“ I start but Mark interrupts me.

“What the fuck Tom, that didn’t happen like that!” Mark shouts and suddenly stops. His hand jolts up and covers his mouth.

A big smile appears on my face and I start giggling.

“You watched it, Mark, did you?” First it looked like he was going to shake his head and deny it but then he nods but doesn’t say a word and just looks at me.

That satisfaction. That fucking satisfaction.

Mark had watched it too. And this time it is his turn to blush.

“I guess we’re quit now.” I laugh. It’s kinda hilarious. This whole situation is totally absurd.

Mark looks me straight into the eyes and tries to be serious but then he bursts out in laughter and I join him. We laugh for like an eternity and my muscles start to hurt when Mark stopped and looked out me again. With tears in his eyes he snorted with laughter.

“Haha even that fucking title… When aliens fly into your butt. I’m going to say that tonight when we’re about to play Aliens Exist.”

“Oh, another nice idea to fuck up my alien song just like ‘Tom has sex guys?’ I try to imitate him and fail miserably and we both just laugh louder.

“This is our little secret, okay? We are never going to tell anyone about that, promise me that.”

As I try to catch my breath I think of the awesome insider jokes we’re going to have. Nobody’s gonna take that from us.

“I promise.”


End file.
